To Whom it may Concern...
Once upon a time, the universe grew so hungry, it ate the whole world. It is painfully impossible to explain the details of the digestion. But this is a fairy tale. And in fairy tales, explanations are merely things other tales have...
The world, then, was nothing more than a distant thought. It was nothing more than nothing, really.
It point of fact, it seemed content that way. For a time. It's previous existence had been nothing more than a struggle, and to be nothing but an absent breath felt like a much deserved holiday.
But also like holidays, it they go on too long, the vacationer starts to feel a twitch. Then a rumble. Then a blast of energy that must desperately go somewhere or it will burst into an explosion that will, very likely, shake the entirety of the universe.
Which is what the world did.
And that is the story of the big bang.